How am I supposed to live with this love for the rest of my life?

I fear I am a dead body hidden in a fridge

Damaged and deceased but unable to fully decay

Forced to stay preserved 

Unable to return to where I belong

Like an endless period of purgatory

I fear I am an ancient grenade

That never had the opportunity

To fully explode

It just holds that weight inside of itself

I fear I am an abandoned mine field

That one misstep would cause a corruption

That I am to remain untouched

Lest I hurt anyone else

I fear I am an orgasm held in the appendages

Like energy coursing through a cut wire

But not being allowed to be emptied

Remaining achingly full like a lonely water balloon

I fear I will be a haunting forever

That the only beauty was in my story

And now, all that remains

Is destruction and decomposition 

It’s not a matter of if

But a matter of when

I detonate

I was lucky enough to find love

I was not lucky enough to keep it

-a.f.

weltenwellen:

Hua Xi, from “The Past Still Needs Me”

metamorphesque:

i don’t pay attention to the
world ending.
it has ended for me
many times
and began again in the morning.

― Nayyirah Waheed, Salt

metamorphesque:

metamorphesque:

ALT

― Fyodor Dostoevsky, White Nights

ALT

― Li Young-Lee, A Story

metamorphesque:

metamorphesque:

ALT

― Fyodor Dostoevsky, White Nights

ALT

― Li Young-Lee, A Story

ashstfu:

ashstfu:

i am so in love w life right now. i wake up super early & i do pilates. i love to hear the chirping of birds in my quiet house on a sunday morning and i play jazz records and silently make myself coffee and enjoy it with a poem. i am developing a habit of eating fruit everyday and i take long walks in the evening and i love watching people do their thing. i visit the beach atleast three times a week, i love the sea and feeling the gentle breeze of the wind on my face. spending my time at beautiful coffee shops and bookstores. i study on my living room floor and actually love that. i read every night before i go to sleep & listen to music while watching the hills illuminated by lights. my friends come over every friday and we cook dinner together and have a little dinner party, i drink wine in the bath, i buy myself flowers and take myself out for dinners. i actually feel good & fulfilled w my life <3

i also dont have instagram <3 deleted it three years ago and honestly, one of the best decisions i’ve ever made

weltenwellen:

Gabriel Ramirez, from “Abuelo,”

thoughtkick:

“I can’t tell you exactly what I’m looking for, but I’ll know it when it happens. I want to be breathless and weak, crumpled by the entrance of another person inside my soul.”

— Aimee Bender, The Girl in the Flammable Skirt

thoughtkick:

“I’m still learning to love the parts of me that no one claps for.”

— Rudy Francisco

weltenwellen:

Louise Glück, from “Mutable Earth”, Poems 1962-2012

derangedrhythms:

ALT

Gregory Orr, from ‘Orpheus & Eurydice: A Lyric Sequence’

heavensghost:

ur twenties are for seeing how many mistakes u can make in the shortest amount of time possible and getting a cool haircut

soracities:

metamorphesque:

Loneliness does not come from having no people about one, but from being unable to communicate the things that seem important to oneself, or from holding certain views which others find inadmissible. 

Carl Jung, “Memories, Dreams, Reflections”

I am constantly trying to communicate something incommunicable, to explain something inexplicable, to tell about something I only feel in my bones and which can only be experienced in those bones. 

Franz Kafka, “Letters to Milena”

It’s so hard to speak and say things that cannot be said. It’s so silent.

—Clarice Lispector, Agua Viva

heavensghost:

i’ll get over it but first i need to be so un normal about it and go crazy

andriahh: